My alien feeling

Hello once more, Lorien here.
In this article i would like to share with you a feeling i often happen to see in myself and its obviously due to Asperger’s Syndrome.
Its not a weird condition and i felt relief when i noticed the cause for this thought, this sensation, of which im more aware when im surrounded by people and this sensation probably will sound very “cassual” or “informal” but i very frecuently feel like an alien.
I always remeber that song by Sting that said, im an alien, im an english alien in New York. Well, i feel like this but not only in New York but everytime im surrounded by people, because i tend to notice how different i am and how sometimes even if i tried to explain how i feel they wouldnt conncet either with me.
So yes, first of all is this sense of everone trying to speak and talk and share things and then there is me feeling intimidated all the time, and asking myself: why would i want to share all of me with someone else? Like thats my stuff, personal stuff, but they seem to enjoy it which to me is very weird.
Then there are the places, if theres dirt or if it crowded of the supermarket which is a very strange place because you go to buy your groceries and just that, in there sometimes people giveaway little pieces of food so that you can try and and decide if you eang to buy it and thats freaking weird to me, i mean, eating in public is a big challenge for me, even when im with family or even my boyfriend, im like, this makes me feel so ashamed, we should do this privately and apart, like going to the toilet, but no one gets it.
Then for example on a coffee shop, i hear so many things, smell everyones deodorant, feel everyone’ eyes on me when i enter, and im thinking that im wasting my money by drinking something that i have at home, but bringing people to my house is a very big challenge, cause its so private, and i feel smothered by that, even when i was 7 or 8 years old it was very hard for me to invite friends over, i only did it when my parents forced me to do so, beause i did have friends but i felt weird taking them to my house and bedroom, it was awful, my mother even remebers me kicking with screams my cousin, who came eventually to play with me because we were neighbors, she said i just told her to leave because i had have enough, what i meant? I think i was overstimmulated or just tired of masking me being like her and enjoying socialization for many hours.
So, this feeling has always been a part of me, i just want to finnish by saying that if you feel this way, dont let it break you down because you are you and you shouldnt be afraid of what you are. Thanks to the fact that you are different you are a gift because you can see what others cant and help your surroundings this way. Embrace yourself and enjoy being different.
Peace, Lorien