My alien feeling

Hello once more, Lorien here.
In this article i would like to share with you a feeling i often happen to see in myself and its obviously due to Asperger’s Syndrome.
Its not a weird condition and i felt relief when i noticed the cause for this thought, this sensation, of which im more aware when im surrounded by people and this sensation probably will sound very “cassual” or “informal” but i very frecuently feel like an alien.
I always remeber that song by Sting that said, im an alien, im an english alien in New York. Well, i feel like this but not only in New York but everytime im surrounded by people, because i tend to notice how different i am and how sometimes even if i tried to explain how i feel they wouldnt conncet either with me.
So yes, first of all is this sense of everone trying to speak and talk and share things and then there is me feeling intimidated all the time, and asking myself: why would i want to share all of me with someone else? Like thats my stuff, personal stuff, but they seem to enjoy it which to me is very weird.
Then there are the places, if theres dirt or if it crowded of the supermarket which is a very strange place because you go to buy your groceries and just that, in there sometimes people giveaway little pieces of food so that you can try and and decide if you eang to buy it and thats freaking weird to me, i mean, eating in public is a big challenge for me, even when im with family or even my boyfriend, im like, this makes me feel so ashamed, we should do this privately and apart, like going to the toilet, but no one gets it.
Then for example on a coffee shop, i hear so many things, smell everyones deodorant, feel everyone’ eyes on me when i enter, and im thinking that im wasting my money by drinking something that i have at home, but bringing people to my house is a very big challenge, cause its so private, and i feel smothered by that, even when i was 7 or 8 years old it was very hard for me to invite friends over, i only did it when my parents forced me to do so, beause i did have friends but i felt weird taking them to my house and bedroom, it was awful, my mother even remebers me kicking with screams my cousin, who came eventually to play with me because we were neighbors, she said i just told her to leave because i had have enough, what i meant? I think i was overstimmulated or just tired of masking me being like her and enjoying socialization for many hours.
So, this feeling has always been a part of me, i just want to finnish by saying that if you feel this way, dont let it break you down because you are you and you shouldnt be afraid of what you are. Thanks to the fact that you are different you are a gift because you can see what others cant and help your surroundings this way. Embrace yourself and enjoy being different.
Peace, Lorien

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Tips for dealing with anxiety for aspergers

Hello y’all today i want to share with you my tips to deal with overstimulation, which i usally have, wouldnt say several times a day but definetly yes a couple every now and then. When this appears i feel so very anxious, like very angry and hesitated, and i just want to have a time alone a time all by myself away from all that is causing me this despair.

So i have found a couple things that help me feel better almost instantly, even if its a physical or emotional hesitation.

The first thing that relieves me instantly is cleaning. I really dont exactly know the formula of why its helpful but i thing its a psychological conection between my allergies and my anxiety. So i just start cleaning my room of wherever i am and instantly i feel so cured, so tranquile, like if suddenly everything turnes out to be alright and fixed, its weird but it helps me a lot.
Another thing could also be listening to music out loud, just heavy metal or rock, but that is helpful for level 3 of anxiety not 1 cause it can cause it to do nothing at all or to actually increase the levels of despair eventually.

Another tip i have found to calm myself down is meditation, but this only works progressively, meaning that when i feel very anxious, but for weeks i would start meditating everynight for about a month, and i know i really shouldnt ever stop meditating to maintain a certain level of relaxation, but sometimes i fall asleep before or just feel too tires to do so, i know its quite strange but anyways, thats another useful tip for anxiety.

Now, i have tried different things such as aromatherapy, fonts to calm myself down to have this beautiful sound that tranquilizes me, also hot pads for my back which usually gets very tense, i have tried even medication but i never wanted to be dependent of it so i kept on quitting it often, i felt i had to face it all by myself first and be brave and learn to calm myself down anytime anywhere needed.

I even started using the pacifier therapy, but i want to write and article about it ony, due to the fact that it is awesome, so effective and easy to use, so easy, even a baby could use it (lol).
Till then i wish you the best of luck, take care, be chill, love ya.

Non-Social Me

Hello everyone
In this moment im going to share with you a very general look on what it’s like for me to make friends and meet people as an aspie, stay with me if you want to know more, take care, kisses, Carla.

So it’s not easy at all, lets start through that. Apparently and from what i have read, people with aspergers syndrome have more of a primitive mental way of processing information, and people centuries ago didnt have to meet tons of people like we do know, not only at work, schools, extra activities, the bus, neighbors, etc. Not even counting social media platforms nor internet in general. Back in time we only had a tribe, a group of people we talked and socialized with them exclusively. People from other tribes simply werent useful for our own activities, we had no intention, nor need to do so, therefore, its not such a natural thing to go around meeting and talking to strangers, we’ve had to adapt and reach for this new world’s daily stuff, thats why its hard, it makes us anxious, its really strange.

As i mentioned before, i do it when i have no way to escape from it. Im polite and nice, and i think that due to my gender i have learned to mask this sort of un-aspergersim, and look used to it and even a little comfortable doing it, but inside im not alright, not at all.

I hate eye contact, i talked about it on a previous post. I dont like chit chat…lets strat a conversation out of nothing because whe might not have anything in common or we might have but we still dont know, so lets talk about the weather, the traffic, the way i did my hair, etc…nonsense.

Im a really demanding person, i like people to be polite, hate bad words, hate people that cough with no precaution, etc…eeird noises, people that stand too near to you, people that stare a lot, those who wear lots of perfume…dunno…im kinda harsh, guess its hard to like me and viceversa, still i do it cause i dong have any other option.

I would like to share more on this topic soon, its a wide one, so lets play pause for a while. Would love to know if you have any questions or if you know someone with aspergers or if you have it yourself, guys Talk to me, lets grow together, deal with obstacles better, spread the word about autism.

Ciao!

Anxiety due to Asperger´s Syndrome

Hello you all dear followers, today im going to explain what anxiety has been for me. Obviously anxiety started long time before I was diagnosed with aspergers, this happened because I was diagnosed at the age of 25, my anxiety has been there I guess since I was a kid. I remember that in school we had swimming class as an official assignment and those Wednesdays I felt very nervous, I could function well but it was still hard to calm down, more because my mother thought I was really young, too young at the age of 6 to undress and put my swimsuit on at school by myself so she help me getting dressed on my bathing suit before I left home, so I had to deal with feeling this weird fabric underneath my school uniform, so everytime I moved slightly anywhere, I remembered today we had swimming class and it was awful because I felt this awful sensation in my stomach, this anguish, later on, pure anxiety.

So yes, I have always been a nervous person but I attribute this to not only my aspergers but to different situations I had to go through since I was very young, all this triggered panic attacks and depression when I was 15 years old, I remember all my friends having their quinceañera´s parties and me just there, terrified, under anxiety pills and antidepressants, it was very bad, I thought I was going to die.

But yeah, thanks to my parents support, it all went good and I went finally through it, the last time I had a intense adrenaline was before my first flight on a plane, and even when the flight had troubles and took way longer to land on Earth, I didn’t´t panic and got to be strong to deal with it the best way possible, so yeah, I learned a lot and I know im stronger than ever before.

I don’t take any medication for my anxiety, but I know that most of my allergies are triggered by anxiety, therefore, I have been trying to control them both the best way I can so far, and I at least know what to expect and what to take if a situation may cause me to feel anxious or nervous.

Another super awesome thing I have found thanks to my psychiatrist is meditation. Some days, anxiety would let me sleep, nowadays, I fall asleep in about 10 / 15 minutes, and if the next day threatens to be overwhelming, then I might have to restart that same sleep meditation over and over for maybe, 4 / 5 times but its better than no sleep at all.

Don´t know if I should take some sort of medication for my nerves, I take vitamin b12 because im a vegan and lack of this vitamin can affect anxiety levels and may even cause a strong damage on the nervous system, it has helped me a lot and perhaps my aspergers is not that harsh so that I need pills everyday, but maybe, just maybe it could make me feel stronger and ready to challenge myself more.

I don’t know any aspie, that´s the reason why I would like to ask you if you are under a certain treatment for anxiety, how it has worked for you, etc. Would really appreciate if you helped me with that, till then, have a nice day and please, keep calm!

anguish, later on, pure anxiety.

Topic 2 : Sociability – Eye Contact

Hello everyone, sorry for taking so long in this new article but i have been quite bussy lately in my own personal projects, because yep, also aspies have projects.

Today i want to talk about a topic that might probably be one of the hardest to deal with as an asperger and that is: social issues.
This is a wide topic, so im going to divide it in different posts. Today we’ll start with eye contact.

Eye contact to me is really hard and i couldnt understand why, because other psicologists said that it was because i was only shy and one of them actually suggested that instead of seeing the eyes of a person, i stared and the middle of their brows to make it easier, that really didnt help.

Eye contact is like if i was staring beyond a person’s physique, its like staring at their soul..at a place that i shouldnt be at…almost like spying into their secrets, their deepest secrets.

But not only staring at theirs…
But also to my own secrets…well i really dont have any…i think aspergers have a hard time dealing with that too.

But anyways, i feel intimidated, i feel like a part of my privacy has been invaded somehow.

And you know,privacy is a really important part for aspies, i really hate when my mom or my boyfriend go to the bathroom and they dont close the door. I mean what the hell is wrong with you guys?!

But yeah, i really dont know how to make things easier in that sense, because i really can deal with a couple of seconds into eye contact but no more than thay, perhaps only with my mom but no more than that, its a real difficulty in general…hate it…
Help me out with your comments if you hace a way to make changes or dealing with it better, let me know please and that way we can help each other too.

Thanks for following aspiphany! Keep up with me on this.
Kisses, Lorien


Topic 1: Hypersensitivity Sight


Topic 1: Hypersensitivity Sight

We continue describing the sensitivity of my senses, in this article, we will specifically talk about the sight.

As an Asperger, the lights are somewhat uncomfortable or even painful.

1.-TV tires me quickly, it makes my forehead and eyes hurt, so I do not see many movies or series.

  1. Lights in concerts also tend to tire me, not to the point of pain but only discomfort after a while.
  2. The cell phone and computers make my eyes turn red.

I think that sight is one of my least sensitive senses, maybe that’s why I’m a professional graphic designer.

If you feel identified with these sgnos, I ask you to write it in the comments since I am very interested to hear you be asperger or not.

topic 1: Hypersensitivity Smell

topic 1: Hypersensitivity Smell
Smell is my most sensitive sense, it never stops besides I have strong allergies within this sense.

I have a lot of issues with Fragrances, in creams, sprays, blockers, gels, detergents, soaps, everything is problematic for me.

  1. dust
  2. cats
  3. Humidity and spores
  4. strong colors in general
  5. dogs in some occasions

My smell is too sensitive but this can not be attributed to the asperger completely because as I mentioned before, I suffer from strong allergies, so I take treatments in rainy and winter seasons.

Although the senses always tend to be sensitive in people suffering from the syndrome asperger.

If you feel identified contact us on the comment box, i wanna meet more Aspies!

nice day, Lorien